My boyfriend will be leaving the country next year for studies. Long distance is something that has come up. Is there anyone who has experienced long distance relationships? What are your thoughts? Advice? It sounds really hard. Please let me know in the comments below!
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justnaya.wordpress.com 
Its a tough one
…what does your gut tell you…at the end of the day, that wiill guide you on how to handle the change
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I want to do it. I’m mostly scared because I can’t really afford flying out to see him and I don’t think he will be able to either…
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Where there’s a will, there’s always a way…rather faith than fear, right ?
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I guess! Thanks for your help. Means a lot…
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Pleasure mam 😋
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I was in a long distance relationship when I first met my boyfriend, I lived in Newcastle and he lived in Wigan, we were 150 mile away and it killed us, I now live with him because I couldn’t stand being away from him it was too tough and hard, the way to wonder whether it will work is to take your gut feeling, that’s what I done. We made it work when we weren’t together but it was too much me having to travel up and back in a weekend etc. If you’s two can make it work go for it!! Xxx
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Glad it worked out! It’s just that at this point I can’t afford flying out regularly to see him. I don’t mind the trips and the difficulties but if it doesn’t really matter if I can’t afford to go… 😕
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If that’s the case you’ll only be able to go when you can afford it! I’m sure he will understand and you will just have to keep in touch via message, Skype, FaceTime etc, if you really want it to work you can make it work ☺️ x
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I guess we have nothing to lose. The good thin is that when long distance ends you know you have something really strong and you can probably get through anything after that!
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There’s no harm in trying! and yeah that’s so true!!
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My boyfriend and I were in a LDR for 3 years since the day we first got together and we were able to work it out! We now live in the same city and while I’m glad to say it’s over, I’m thankful for the experience because it brought us even closer. In order for LDRs to work, there needs to be an immense amount of trust and understanding of the other person’s time/space. Most of the time, there will be a time difference so making time for each other is a must but it’s also important to keep a balance between what is expected and what is required. Because there is distance, problems cannot be solved as easily as they can be in person so sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and not say something you’ll deeply regret. At the end of the day, you yourself knows whether this person is worth fighting for and if they are, the experience is so great–especially when you get to see each other again (even if it’s just for a few days!). I hope everything works out for the both of you!!
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Glad you ended up together after all. I get so much joy and hope from all these comments. I guess I have to try it even if it doesn’t work out I’ll know I did my best!
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I have been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for 2 years now. I live in Sweden and he lives in Norway. I was a student when we first started dating and I couldn’t always afford to travel to see him. Communication is KEY! FaceTime, Skype and text has definitely made the distance easier in our relationship. It’s hard but you will get through it! xx
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So glad it’s working out for you I love hearing about people being happy. It takes so much strength being away from each other! Hope you’ll be together soon. Thank god for technology. Hopefully it’ll be enough…
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I was long distance with my boyfriend for a year because of school too. We were a 4 hour drive away from each other, which may not sound super long distance, but with that distance, it was still really hard. He was busy with work and I with school and we couldn’t see each other all the time. We saw each other about once a month. But I read that you and your boyfriend can’t afford to see each other.
So my questions for you are: how long have you been together? how long will he be gone for school? how much trust do you have with each other?
Because for me, I think long distance relationships take alot of effort on both people, in terms of time, trust, honesty, understanding and money. If a couple doesn’t have a strong foundation and bond with one another, then a long distance relationship won’t work. In order to make it through the distance and time, y’all really have to be honest and understanding with one another.
Even though my boyfriend and I were only 4 hours away from each other and we saw each other about once a month, there were about 2-3 times where we had serious issues about trust, time and money. There were even issues with intimacy.
So think about the questions I asked before and I’m sure that will help you decide whether it’s worth taking the plunge or better to split and cut your losses.
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We have been together for a year and he’ll be gone for a couple of years. We trust each other very much but I don’t know if it’s enough.
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Its well said that “where there is a will, there is a way”, so have faith in your relationship, cz i guess trust and faith are things which really matters at the end & most importantly if you really feel lyk den do ur best to reach there. why cant u go for higher studies actually that will be really great if you do so cz u will be happy wd yourself and wd him also…
Long distance will nt let u apart unless & untill you have hope, belief and faith to do good for yourself. Try to serve yourself, believe in yourself, you will definetly feel happy and won’t be alone if for some reson you can’t go.
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Long distance works if both of you put in the effort. To me, I think it’s a good thing because it allows me to be independent and we can both better ourselves while growing together. Best of luck to both of you! x
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I’ve kind of seen it from both sides of the coin when it comes to LDRs (while I’ve never experienced it myself). My current boyfriend’s last relationship was LDR throughout school and they ended up breaking it off due to distance about 2 years into the long distance. I have another friend who has been with her boyfriend for over a year, but they have ALWAYS been long distance, and therefore they are happy and thriving in their relationship and make the most of whenever they see each other. My boyfriend and I were separated for our summers away from school and it was actually surprisingly very tough, even with the knowledge of seeing each other again daily in 2.5 months.
I think it all comes down to expectations. The reason people have negative connotations about LDRs is because they have gotten very used to and accustomed to seeing each other daily. The reason I had a tough time in the summers is because we basically lived together and spent hardly any nights apart for the 9.5 months of school. I think it is possible to successfully pull off and thrive in a LDR, however both people in the relationship need to be realistic about their expectations and have a very open talk about it. Set up times that you will talk to each other no matter what (e.g. a goodnight FaceTime call every night or every other night) and try to keep each other updated on your current lives away from each other so you can still feel involved in your partner’s life. I think people find it difficult to have an immersive relationship once an LDR is set into play and that is what ends up being their demise.
If you have a mutual understand and expectations, I see nothing but happiness in the future 🙂 Best of luck!
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My wife and I lived on different continents for months at a time over the past few years. The transition was difficult at first, but so long as our core relationship was solid, we found we could make anything work. For what its worth, distance isn’t the deciding factor in whether a relationship will be successful or not, but you never know until you give it a try.
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That takes so much strength. Glad you made it work. I guess it all comes down to whether your love for each other is stronger than the hurt of being apart.
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Same here except I’ll be studying on the other side of the globe. But I know he is the one. Ask yourself how important he is to you?…If he’s the one too I’m sure you’ll do everything you can to keep this long distance relationship
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Long distance is one of the hardest yet most rewarding challenges I think any relationship can handle. My parter and I have almost spent more time apart than together. But we have something so special, a connection I don’t see in my friends who are in non long distance relationships. On my part my emotions and feelings can really get in the way, I can feel so alone and resentful of the distance but nothing beats the feeling of seeing them again. Good luck, only your heart can know what the best decision is xx
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It is really encouraging hearing all of your stories. I want everyone to be happy and seeing all these optimistic and strong people warms my heart. In the end it is my decision but reading your experiences definitely helps. Thank you for your time. Wish you the best!
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It’s not the easiest thing in the world but you shouldn’t be afraid of it. One thing I never expected? There’s so much I’ve learned about myself in this process. It seems that you would learn more about your boyfriend than yourself but that’s not true. You learn about yourself in a way that you would never have learned with him there and that will make your relationship even deeper. My boyfriend and I got engaged over the Christmas holidays so now we’re engaged but we have the daunting task of figuring out how to be together (get married etc.) I just started a blog to help me process my feelings so please stop by from time to time! I’ll keep you guys in my prayers. Hugs!!!
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Thank you for your kind words. I’m so happy for you and wish you the best. It’s obvious that you love each other and I think that’s all we need. Glad this experience helped you grow! Wish you the best!
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I think that if you feel like you can do it then go for it ! X
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Yes I was in a long distance relationship for a while. It’s really really hard. You have to trust yourself. Personally they can work if you willing to put in the work! But I takes a lot, mentally and emotionally
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It sounds so hard. You are so brave!
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I’ve been in a long distance relationship for few months.I left to study in the Netherlands and my boyfriend at that time stayed in Bulgaria.It was financially difficult for me and him to travel and see each other all the time so we communicated mostly trough Skype.After the first month the problems with trust and intimacy came but we handled it.We saw each other after 4 months for small period of time (my 10days winter holiday)but it just didn’t feel the same anymore.We broke up 8 months after I first left.Our problem was not the distance I think but the trust and communication we had.Although it didn’t work for me I still believe that LDR is possible for people who really know how to share and communicate normally.We didnt do that,every problem we had we just fight about it and not talk reasonable so that’s my advice to other people.Just talk and share and I am sure everything will be fine.It won’t be easy but it will be fine.Finally, you never know what might happen in long period of time,perhaps you might be able to go visit him or he’ll come,or you both will end up living together who knows 🙂 I wish you all the best and stay strong!
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I’m sorry to hear that. In the end some things happen for the best. Thanks for your advice! Wish you the best!!!
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My biggest tip is to make sure there is trust between the two of you. There can be no real doubt. In order to succeed in a Long Distance Relationship I would say to communicate as often as possible! Also, the both of you have to both be committed to the relationship. It’s not easy, but it is entirely worth it xxx
Melina | http://www.ivefoundwaldo.com
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These are all great advice and I feel really confident that we have those things. It just feels like there’s a looooooong way to the top.
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Good luck, remember love can conquer anything xxx
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Thank you ❤️❤️❤️
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Hey! I was in a LDR for four years, I can tell it it wasn’t easy buy it definitely was a crazy and amazing adventure for both of us, we learned so many things. LDR need a lot of communication, patience, love and trust. At the end everything is worth it. I married with him now and we have been living together for almost 2 years. So yes, LDR can work. Greetings!
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Glad to hear it worked out. Thank you for the words of encouragement!
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I am currently in a LDR with my boyfriend and all I can say that at first it wasn’t easy, however it’s an amazing experience for both of us and we have learned a lot of things. We have been together for nearly two years and he is hoping to move up next year but in the mean time we FaceTime near enough every night since we have been together.
With this type of relationship communication, love, trust and patience are so important and in the end I believe that it is worth it. Yeah LDRs can work 🙂 hope this helps x
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Thanks for your comment. It really appeases my concerns and makes me more keen to try it and do my best. Hopefully it will work out. Wish you the best ❤️
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All you can do is your best 🙂 thank you and same to you ❤
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I am writing a article about that right now! I think it is based on what the couple is willing to do for one another to get through it. Relationships are about trust, and in long distance, trust can dwindle….things like sharing passwords for social media and making the time to talk really can help. Good luck!
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My wife and I have been married for 17 years but before we got married a large portion of our dating was long distance. We spent a year apart and wrote each other every day. A lot can be said through writing and it can be a great opportunity to get to know each other, but only assuming if you’re both honest (and real) in written form. If not, then the long distance relationship will only create a false identity and only ruin things for when youre back together physically. It’s also a great test btw. Because over that time you will both inevitably meet other people and could potentially fall in love with someone else. If that happens then you’ll know yours or the others commitment was not really there to begin with.
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I’m in a long distance relationship. Have been for over a year now. Honestly, you’ll have days where it breaks you but overall it’ll make you guys stronger. Your communication skills will increase because that’s how your relationship will be balanced. Also trust levels need to be super strong in order for it to work! But it’s totally do able. I have actually done a two part Q&A on my blog about long distance relationships so please check that out if your still wanting information 💜💜
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Ive done long-distance for two years now, and the hardest part is that the loneliness comes in waves and they can be triggered by really anything and everything; another couple you see, a certain song, a sad movie. My best advice is take it day by day and try not to let the distance get the best of you. Its a great chance to become more independent and really work on yourself. The one thing about long-distance is that it cant last forever in a working relationship, and knowing when you’ll be together again definitely helps psychologically!
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It’s very hard. However, it can work with a lot of focus and dedication. Small goals help, like calling at a regular time or Skype, plans for a visit in the future.
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I’ve never done it – wishing you only the best! next year is ways off, so who knows what might happen between now & then — worrying is always futile
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It all depends on both of you, its tough but people have pulled through before.
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Definitely it is more than possible. But it takes a lot and it’s not for everyone.
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I agree, it’s not for everyone, it’s takes a lot, more commitments and time to put in the relationship to stay connected.
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My boyfriend and I were long distance for 17 months – from August 2015 to January 2017. It’s tough, and you’ll both need to be willing to put in the effort and time. Technology helps a lot these days. We were constantly texting or FaceTiming one another. One thing, though, when you guys are together physically again, it takes time to adjust.
Best of luck!
Princess Ka’iulani
princessagainsttheworld.com
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Definitely we take so much time talking about what happens during long distance relationships we sometimes forget the after. I mean when you see each other after months for a few days you will be so excited to see them. But when this period ends and you are constantly together again it could actually kill the excitement you had before. It’s kind of crazy that the thing you wish to have is the thing that in the end takes you apart. Hopefully no one has to go through such a hard period only to realize it wasn’t meant to be but it can happen. And it is important to remember that the period after doing long distance can also be hard and no one should be discouraged. We all need time to adjust. Thanks for your comment if it weren’t for you I would not have thought about what happens then…
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My boyfriend of 10 months and I have been doing long distance since the beginning. We went to middle school together and dated then but then went our separate ways until my sophomore year of college. I think it’s definitely doable!! It makes seeing each other those few times we can soooo meaningful and fun! FaceTime is a huge help so we can see each others faces when we really start to miss each other. It’s difficult at times but it’s worth it if he’s the one for you! And having friends you can talk to about your relationship really helps. I go to my best friend for everything and although she’s never been in a long distance relationship she always knows the right things to say. Good luck, I’m sure it will work out! (:
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You are sooo lucky to have a best friend. A good friend can definitely fill some of the void long distance causes! Thank you for the advice. 🙂
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It all depends on what kind of individual he is and you are. It didn’t work in one of my past relationships because he was a cheater (I found out later) and couldn’t juggle the both of us apparently. If you can trust, I mean WITHOUT DOUBT whatsoever that he/she will stay faithful, that the two of you can be ok with not having that physical touch/person to enjoy things with for a long time, then yes it will work!
However, if there is doubt in your heart/gut/spirit that he will be unfaithful or lie, then please listen to it. I wish I had every single time I didn’t, well I payed for my naivety. If you both or one or the other feel you need that physical touch and joy of being with your boyfriend, then it may not work out sweetie. I’m the kind of person who needs that someone with me to go have fun with or just for them to be there for me, so it’s just my personality. It really does matter.
How long have the two of you been together? How young are you?
If you’re old enough and desire to be married, why hasn’t he at least asked for you to he engaged? Or a promise ring? You see, someone who TRULY wants to be devoted to you will do anything and everything he can to pledge his love for you, promise you that this separation won’t be too long, and then he will follow through with his words.
Being separated for too long isn’t healthy, and can really destroy relationships. If the man really values you (which he should!!) then he will prove it to you by actions, not just words. I hope you’re not mad or sad with my bluntness honey, but I’ve been through a lot and God has shown me things to share to others that I’ve learned from myself.. Blessings and I hope you make the wise decision. No matter what, you’re worth that commitment, love, and you’re WORTH being valued. Xoxo, Faith 💙
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I had a long distance relationship (600 miles). I went away to school and he stayed home.
It worked for a while but in the end, it didn’t work out due to us growing differently. I was driven towards a very different set of goals that he was working towards. But that was the only reason. Everyone doesn’t grow apart. I would have faith in the strength of your relationship, keep communication open, and get it a go!
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It is tough and you need a high level of trust and an open communication to make it work on your favor. Try to see it as an opportunity to explore your personal interests and work on your own growth. You see, the best of relationships work when two people have the right amount of independent thoughts and pursue their own unique interests, too.
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I understand. I am bad at that meaning that most of the time get overly dependent with the person I’m with. It’s definitely a chance to work on that because I do believe that the person you should need the most is yourself. Thank you for helping me see that. 🙂
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Guess it is a test of the strength of your relationship Ms. Naya . The simple answer, if there is one, is how much you are going to invest to keep the relationship going, emotionally, physically and socially. It is easier to judge now, in the heat of physical presence, but once time passes, the real test begins.
Online becoming more a medium of conveying emotions , but would that be sufficient is your own decision.
It is a hard decision to take, I have seen couple of my ex owners trying to maintain such a relationship but in both cases the relationship stopped after six and nine months.
I had many online submissive relationship, even with the factor that they are not love by nature, they break down much easier than irl.
If you want to discuss any deets let me know Ms. Naya (mybeyo1@gmail.com)
best of luck
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I have done it. Twice. The first time was Milan and New York – a craziness of flights every few months. Not sustainable. The second time was within 3 hour driving distance – not so bad. We are now married. It takes a lot of determination and honesty – and the ability to let go. It might come back when the time is right.
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Don’t think of it as something really hard. If you trust each other, understand each other and most importantly love each other, it’s going to be amazing. There will be really hard days when all you want is to go and give him a tight hug, but you will find other ways, your own ways. I won’t lie to you, it is going to be hard, but the difficult times will make your relationship stronger if you both have the never give up spirit! 😇
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I have been in a long distance relationship for 2 years now and I agree with a lot of comments that it’s down to gut feeling. I also think that if you really love them, it’s worth a try, find what things make it work for you. Skype is a big help and planning events for the future to look forward to really help as well as keeping busy to distract yourself it you feel a bit down about it. After two years though I can definitely say that it gets easier as you find a rythem that works for you.
Just remember that it’s not forever and you have nothing to lose in trying 🙂 xx
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Just started my blog! This is so inspiring
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Long distance is hard. You’ll get angry. You’ll get confused. You’ll get clingy. You’ll question everything and if there is nothing to question, oh dear girl, you or the other person will find something to question. There’s no use sugar coating that. But, in saying that, with the sacrifices comes rewards and blessings. My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for almost one year now. At the stage of life that my boyfriend and I are in, we know that it is a vital chapter for us as individuals, to grow and establish our feet in this “big world”. We are both growing and succeeding in our respective fields, him in the military and myself completing a double major at University, but we are succeeding in parallel to each – other. And there’s nothing wrong with that. What is important to understand and grasp quickly, is that if a long distance is to be worth the ride, then each person needs to be supportive of their decision in aiming for studies, work, or whatever the reason maybe for being in an LDR. In saying that, making a goal should be a priority. What my boyfriend and I did, was that we made a promise that we will try LDR for 2 years. Once we reach our 2 year mark of being through long distance, we should evaluate exactly how the relationship is going, how each person feels about each other still and feels in general with the LDR, and at that point if things are going well, then consider one moving to the other and being together in the same place, or if it isn’t working, consider how to fix the situation first and or take a break from the relationship. It’s a crazy thing to think about I reckon, but if one is in a serious relationship then there should be no question about sharing this life together. And this doesn’t mean he has to pop the big question, but what I am getting at is that if you’re serious about each other and the relationship despite the distance. then having to be more involved in each – others life and plunging through this life together, succeeding at life together instead of parallel to each – other, will be something you both won’t hesitate to take head on. You’ll both find a way to make it work. Because, love.
With all this, communication is crucial. Honesty is a must. Faith is basically a tattoo on your heart. Trust is a sensitive but yet a tight strong rope between each person. Time spent together no matter how little, will soon be realised that you learn how precious it is. And through a long distance relationship, knowing how precious time is, this will teach you to spread that everywhere and with everyone. My advice will be is not merely an advice to call it, but a reminder. Long distance relationship requires your patience and your parter’s patience. But remember that the goal at the end of this all will be rich and fruitful.
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Check my shocking advice and let me know https://wordpress.com/posts/my/livingzdistance.wordpress.com
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Long Distance is not something that I would recommend to anyone. It is extremely, extremely challenging. Everyone says it is rewarding and yes that is true, but the reality is you will cry yourself to sleep alone, you will miss them so much it hurts and you will have days-quite a few of them-where you will want to break it off for good. Don’t go into it thinking you will have a simple relationship that is easy and the time will fly. Nothing is ever that easy. But if you think it is worth it, and you can make it work, then it will be extremely beneficial and you will come out of it stronger than ever.
Its not easy. But if you put in the effort, then it will be worth it.
I wish you all the best. Good luck with everything ahead
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Visit my blog! It is about me and my bff dealing with long distance!! I feel your struggle!!
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Really loved your post and your writing style. It’s an inspiration. Could you please give a critique on my blog
thesoultalk.wordpress.com
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I’m a little late to comment on this but I’m currently in a long distance military relationship and the one thing that keeps us going is be able to think about all the memories we have made so far and all the memories we will make in the future 😊 you’ll have days where you may not talk at all but it’s all part of the relationship and if anything I believe it’s made us stronger. Just stick the relationship out and think about the future because my boyfriend always tells me that ‘everything he does now and everything that’s happening will be worth it in our future’ 💛
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Hey girl!
LDR can defenitly work. I have been in one for over 2 years now. After knowing my bf for 8 years it is difficult because we have waited so freaking long in order to be together and every time we try we keep getting shut down. BUT the good part is long distance relationships work if two people are willing to put in time and the effort. Oh yea and patience is key!
I wrote a little blog post about Long distance and the most important things that can help make this relationship last!
Check it out I think it will be able to help you cope with the change ! 🙂
Good luck
– Jade
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Oh man kinda going thru the same at the moment this post is so needed thank you for sharing
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