A Big Screw You to the Chuck Basses and Mr. Bigs of the World

Like many girls, I grew up rooting for Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big to end up together. Every time he turned her down, every time he fell for someone else I felt sad. And then here comes young Chuck. Doing whatever feels right for him. Stomping on Blair’s feelings. And again here comes little me hoping for what I thought was a happy ending. And I got it. They ended up together. But my definition of a happy ending has changed. Two strong, independent women being thrown around by guys afraid of commitment? Don’t get me wrong no one is perfect. Carrie and Blair made a fair share of mistakes. But they stood by their men. And for what? To keep them behind? Is that what we are teaching young women and men? To stick around a person that doesn’t respect them? That doesn’t consider them equals? That a romantic relationship is worth more than your sanity? It doesn’t feel right.

This my personal take on two really famous couples. Sorry for the rant…

What do you guys think? Let me know in the comments below!

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20 thoughts on “A Big Screw You to the Chuck Basses and Mr. Bigs of the World”

  1. Love this post! I haven’t finished sex and the city (I’m terrible with boxsets ha!) but I’m team Carrie and Aden, definitely not Carrie and Big!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I feel chuck is so overrated because he shows love for Blair, but then viewers seem to forget that he did her so wrong also, makes me sad that such a toxic relationship is promoted to be normal- I used to love Chuck too to be honest, only as I got older I realised more so X

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Totally. I guess we weren’t mature enough to realize all the things wrong with these relationships. I really like Chucks character. I just hate him in connection to Blair.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Chuck Bass was horrible! I disliked his character soooo much! I never thought of Mr. Big in the same way, but probably should have. BTW, I won a jewelry contest from Margo Morrisson while watching Gossip Girl – it was so awesome. I miss that show.


  4. While I agree with everything you said I also believe it’s also a women’s fault to put up with this shit. I know friends who date horrible guys. They know the guy is no good news, know he’s pathetic and yet they stick with these bad boys because they want to ‘Change them’. They easily get convinced by one sorry from the guys. And bare in mind these are all well educated, powerful women who are aware of what’s emotional abuse.


  5. I did root for Chuck & Blair and didn’t notice until you pointed it out. I was never a fan of Edward from Twilight because he is dangerous and she has to change to be with him – I didn’t agree with that. I don’t agree with Mr Grey from 50 Shades for the same reason.


  6. I completely agree, when I watched gossip girl long after the show was over, i couldn’t understand why people would root for chuck and blair, chuck was a fucking rapist and violent and despicable (sold blair for his hotel) Carrie and Big, my god, Big is an absolute mess and a damn asshole. I just can’t fathom the fantasy or #couple goals.
    Maybe in the heads of those who supported them, they oversimplified it as ‘the couple that went though thick and thin to be together’ rather than a fundamentally fucked up individual and a girl who doesn’t know whats good.


  7. Despite my eternal and unconditional love both for Mr.Big and Chuck Bass, I couldn’t help but agree with this blogpost.
    Recently I found myself in a relationship of that sort: at the very beginning everything was magical. He made me feel things I have never felt before; he was passionate, caring and so confident all at the same time. I fell in love with him and his personality in a blink of an eye.
    But then things changed.
    He started acting weird, as if he was scared of commitment; I was the one that had to wait for him to clear his mind of for him to have time for us. I was the one who forgave him, who said everything was fine, that I was fine when in reality I wasn’t. I cried every night, waiting for him to come back to me. I wasted opportunities to have fun with my friend hoping I could spend just a hour with him.
    After some months I realized I was worthy of so much more. He was scared of his feelings, he wasn’t that confident, he was just a mess with a heart too small for everything he was feeling with me. So I let him go, even if it felt like ripping my heart out.
    But then I saw with my very own eyes that I was just a way to spend his free time, nothing more. He didn’t care for me at all. And I asked myself: is that what I have been taught? To wait for a man?
    Is that what I want for me?
    Absolutely not.


  8. I always hated Chair and I’ve been ranting about the same thing for years! It’s not so easy to remove yourself from the situation and recognize that your relationship is unhealthy. And it can be dangerous for women to exit the situation. What a bad example for viewers.



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